Black Holes

The cosmos is in an uproar – is Einstein right about the general theory of relativity or are quantum theorists correct?

At stake is not just our whole understanding of the universe as we know it, but my LV totebag.
In other words:  The Black Hole.

I don’t really understand the ins and outs (literally!) of quantum mechanics with its theory that information particles falling into a black hole are not forever lost.  Alternatively, I’ve never understood Einstein’s theory that space-time is smooth even though I read the book Einstein’s Dream years back in the hope that I would get it at some basic level, which I pretended to but didn’t really.

Here’s what I do know.  I’ve lost more stuff in my black hole of a bag than I’ve ever put in.  You know how when you wash socks and, somehow, you lose one from the pair when you take stuff out of the dryer?  That’s what I’m talking about!

Inevitably, I lose my keys in my bag or my BlackBerry or iPhone or lipstick.  Then I run around the house like a crazy person until, desperate to be proven wrong, I re-search my purse and….bingo.  Keys found.  BlackBerry buzzing.  iPhone ready to roll, etc.

This experience, which repeats itself on a regular basis, does shed some light, however, on the whole Einstein versus quantum mechanics debate.  In an effort to try to overcome the “paradox” associated with particles staying or going from a Black Hole, some physicists speculate that particles stay connected to the black hole through a wormhole, where only one link connects the particles.  If this is true, than both Einstein and the quantum mechanics of the physics world are both right according to my source, Tuesday’s Science section of the New York Times. (Credit where credit is due:  I can’t make this stuff up, I’m not smart enough). 

The coming together of the two theories makes perfect sense to me with respect to the mechanics of managing my black hole of a purse.  It would, for example, explain why sometimes I can’t see that iPhone….and then I can.  Or how I can rummage around for a pen one minute, and then one hour later find 6 of them.   Blame it on the wormhole! 

Now, what if this theory has relativity regarding my retirement savings:  money would never be lost,  and money leaving the black hole of my account would remain forever linked to more money in the black hole, meaning that I should experience no anxiety about spending or not spending cash.   (OMG, I think I’ve just find a solution to the whole government spending/debt/deficit debate!  It’s a wormhole – so let’s get the US economy humming again, people, by spending some CASH!)

However this debate among physicists ends, I will remain deeply interested in the outcome – and I believe it justifies the acquisition of a new purse so that I might experience anew the delightful  conundrum of my  own personal limits of physics. 

Amen, Dr. Einstein.  Good luck oh pioneers of modern science.  Hello, you beautiful new Black Hole….!