The Shut Up Already Awards

Although it’s not really totally over yet, it appears at this writing that our government will go back to work soon. (And that means my husband too, thank god!).  The full faith and credit of the United States, and the relative security of your money and mine, such as it is, will be vouched safe – at least until Feb. 7, when we have the opportunity to watch this movie again.

In honor of the outstanding patriotism on display these last weeks, I’d like to recognize the really impressive performances of the ShutUp/Stand-Out  few – representatives, truly, of democracy run amok --  who have brought a great nation to the brink.

·       The Best Actor Award goes to…the one, the only, Senator Ted Cruz.  No one else – not even John Boehner – has displayed such an elevated self-importance and arrogance; it is simply unmatched even in this crew of Tea Party Tots Throwing Tantrums.

·       The Best Actress Award goes to…Rep. Marsha “I’ve Never Met a TV Camera I Didn’t Love” Blackburn, Tea Party Queen of Tennessee.  That lady can talk and spin and talk and spin and say so much and say so little while chewing gum at the same time – and all that with faux Southern Belle charm and perfectly coiffed hair.   I can’t believe she can afford a beauty parlor blowout every day on what a member of Congress makes but then, yeah, that’s right, most all of them are multi-millionaires and that’s why, in part, they don’t give a crap about the rest of us.  You’re the best, Marsha – don’t ever change.

·      The Best Supporting Actor Award goes to …. Mitch McConnell.  He’s a nasty ol’ summabitch, but he’s a patriotic summabitch.  Really.  Thanks for your “White Knight” performance – history will be kinder to you as a result.  Plus, you get one of my awards.  Good on ya, brother. 

·       The Best Supporting Actress Award goes to…Sarah Palin, because you can’t have a constitutional crisis based on “Know-Nothing” ideology without St. Sarah trying to grab Center Stage.  Man, she’s good – she can upstage Ted Cruz and hijack the World War II Memorial protest of 95-year-old war veterans – that’s surely award worthy, don’tcha know?

·       The Best Ensemble Award goes to….of course, the House Republican Caucus, led by “The Speaker”….the man….the one and only John Boehner.  As for you, Mr. Speaker, history will not be so kind, so enjoy this award because it’s probably the only good thing that’s going to happen for you this week...except for maybe a nice Merlot headache.

Let me add my personal thanks to all the award winners, as well as their Tea Party colleagues who in the name of “fairness” and “fiscal frugality” set fire to about $20B as payment for their tantrum of these past weeks. Their love of country, concern for “average Americans” and "jobs", and, oh yeah, our nation’s financial security is really, really, really touching. 

I hope the rest of us will return the favor at the ballot box.