Skype Me Up!

Several events in recent days have led me to join the motherhood of cyber-snoops.

•  (1) A $330 mobile phone bill largely caused by my daughter exceeding her data plan (on my account) by more than 100%.
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• (2)  Some boy who sent a tween-aged smutty text message to my daughter’s girlfriend (I don’t know all the specifics of the message but it was enough to make my helicopter mom blades whirl just imagining it).
• (3)  The video calls via Skype and Face Time are taking precedence over “family time” in the evening.

I’ve become twitchy, a tad tech-wary and very good at telling small fibs so I can check out my daughter’s phone.  I’m not doing it all the time, but just enough to make sure she’s not the recipient of stalker texting and other inappropriate communications. Based on my recent recognizance of her messages, I don’t think we’re in the danger zone yet, i.e., signing up for uKnow.com.  But I’m not ruling it out in the future.

Of course we’ve discussed with our child our concerns about texting, social media, etc., etc. and for the most part she gets it because she’s a good kid and actually likes being a good kid.  She knows that Facebook is a big fat “no” for her, although Instagram does have its allure.  I don’t think she knows about Snapchat or Tumblr yet, but neither do I really.  This is a brave new world for me, and I have a lot of territory to cover in my cyber-snooping.

Regarding the phone bill situation, my darling daughter confessed to not doing anything deliberate to ramp up her consumption of data, and I believe her.  She asked me if we were running out of money, though (I lied and said “no”) while my husband reexamined the settings on her phone in a last ditch effort to slow our rate of cash flow into the coffers of our monopolistic mobile phone provider.

In any event, I am now in possession of my daughter’s private, 4-digit security code and am sufficiently capable of the most credible diversionary tactics, thereby allowing Cyber Dad or Cyber Snoop Mom to take quick possession of her lifeline to the virtual Queendom of Tweendom.  That said, I’m not sure what we do about those video chats each night – she loves it because she can see friends, who can see her, and they get to perform as they talk to each other, sharing lots of posing, histrionics and laughter.  Sigh.

Absent taking custody of her phone -- which we really don’t want to do unless she does something stupid that requires such a punitive action, like ride her electric scooter without a helmet or text at 3am -- I think we’re kind of stuck with my daughter’s virtual playdates.

But wait – if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!  Each night, we can spend 30 blissful minutes of smart phone family “face time” from the comfort of our preferred quarters:  Her sanctuary, my big bed, and my husband’s family room throne.

Skype us up, Scotty!