Drowning in the Car Pool

My day began in a leisurely manner for a Tuesday:  20 minutes on the treadmill, some juicing for breakfast, getting my daughter fed and me showered, all by 8:00am.  Just as I was about to send myself off to the doctor, at approximately 8:05, the day started to fall apart.

The panicky text came across my phone screen and my daughter’s – I had forgotten that I was supposed to drive the morning car pool pick-up and my partner had other things to do so she couldn’t cover my screw-up.  However, I was pretty sure that my days for this week were Wednesday, Thursday and Friday based on the Sunday evening group email I usually send to participating parents, including my morning partner.  Muttering some particularly choice words (bad mommy, bad) I sprang into action.   

It was now 8:10am and I usually leave the house at 7:35 am to begin my car pool rounds which take me some miles in a direction opposite that of the school.  I was about, oh, 40-45 minutes behind schedule to pick up anyone.

Did I mention that all my carpool kids had an 8.30am end of year sports team celebratory breakfast to attend today – or that I had a 9:00 am doctors’ appointment – and that we would all be late?

While waiting for a light to change at 8:16am, I found my Sunday evening Group Email -- bad texting mommy, bad -- which was as I remembered it.  I forwarded it on to my partner with the following message:   ““You were supposed to pick up today.  I am on my way to your house now.”  The light turned green and I powered onward. 

At about the same time, my morning partner sent me a screen shot of my atrociously typed scheduling message sent to her at 8:39 PM Sunday night, where I wrote “Tuesday” instead of “Wednesday” --  before sending out the infamous Group Email with Wednesday in my schedule correctly noted.  My car pool co-pilot received this email along with the other 2 participating parents.

The battle was joined:   We were both right and wrong.  My partner accused me of not accepting responsibility and hurting her feelings because of the “tone” of my 8:16 email; I apologized for the mistyped text of Sunday evening, but noted that the (correct) Group Email was the commitment “of record” for all parental participants, including her.

After some back and forth about our mutual disappointment in each other during the course of the year (she's been unreliable and too sensitive/I've been reliable but insensitive) and the sloppiness of our Sunday evening "process" for negotiating and communicating the week ahead, we both agreed our car pool partnership is finito at semester's end. 

So the upshot of all this drama was:  The kids were late for their breakfast.  I was late to the allergist.  My blood pressure reading at the doctor was scary high.  I was even later to work than I thought I would be.  Two witless and weary moms behaved badly via text message.   And yes, I didn't accept sole responsibilty for an error that clearly began with me.  Obviously, tI'm not proud of that fact, even though I did concoct some interesting "turns of phrase" in my messaging skirmish this morning....

And imagine:  It’s only Tuesday.