Moving On

Some very important people in my life are moving on and moving away and it has me feeling stir crazy.

For someone who has always embraced her little touch of ADD with enthusiasm because new people, issues, and things are the best stimulus of all (mostly), I’m finding that the older I get the harder it is to “lean in” to the stimulus of change.  Change is exciting, of course, but it’s also…uncomfortable. And uncomfortable makes me, well, pretty uncomfortable.

So my retired work spouse and his real spouse are headed to Massachusetts to settle into a new phase in their lives. They both seem to have started to really, truly look forward to this new era too.  They’re writing a book together, so their brains are busy…they’re eliminating unneeded detritus of their previous life by having an estate sale, so they’re pocketing some cash too.  All in all, sounds pretty good, right?  I’m happy for them.

It’s making me squirmy as hell.

And then my wonderful next door neighbors are moving 1.5 miles away to a much larger house so that they and their 2 terrific girls can have space to grow up and need…their own space.  I get it, I envy it, and I’m a little pissed off that they are doing it.  Why?  It means their kids won’t be walking barefoot on the worn cobble stone "short cut" between our two houses anymore.  It means we won’t be doing impromptu group dinners or evening outdoor movie nights with lots of popcorn for the girls and wine for the grown-ups.  Man, I’m going to miss those nights.

Then there’s our neighbor son the other side of us. Their house is big and beautiful and a rental.  We really don’t know them very well; candidly, I remember the husband’s name but never his wife’s and that’s better than my husband, who only knows them as “hello, how are you?”  Anyway, they’ve just bought a new home so they’re leaving too at the end of this month.

I’m starting to take it personally.

As for me, I’d like to be ready to move on – but to where?  We can’t afford a larger house in our neighborhood, and if we could, we’d have to be prepared to sink a lot of money and sweat equity into a renovation.  Sorry, but I’m too old for that; just ask my 401k manager.  Plus, my daughter still has 5 more years to go before college beckons, so we can’t really leave the area.  And if we could leave the area, my husband and I aren’t totally on the same page (yet) about where to settle down and how:  A house?  A condo?  A houseboat?  A cave?

Whenever I get this way, I realize that I need to do something “homeowner-y,” like buy a new piece of furniture, or paint a room, or have a lawn service company remove all the weeds and poison ivy in our yard.

Better squirmy than itchy, I guess.  Time to call the gardener.