The Work Spouse

Most men and women I know have at least one special colleague at work who is a friend, usually of the opposite sex.  This person wears many, many hats, often on a daily basis – serving as a listening post, a therapist, a father or mother confessor, a cheerleader and, even on occasion, a nag or pain in the @#$! 

Typically, these relationships are purely platonic. For that reason, they offer up another and extremely valuable kind of intimacy -- a closeness that allows for trust and complete confidence in the other person’s willingness to completely trust you back.

My husband calls this person “a work spouse.”  And I’ve been fortunate to have one for nearly 20 years at my firm.

Tomorrow, after a year of planning and waiting for the moment to arrive, my work spouse is retiring from our company.  While many others also lay claim to him as “their” work spouse, he was my first and only.  And I think I may have been his first, if not only, at our company.

We have very different takes on politics, money, office intrigue (sometimes) and other things too.  We’ve had arguments with each other (usually during presidential election seasons) but we’ve always, always recovered quickly from them because we enjoy each other’s company too much to let petty BS get in the way.

We’ve seen each other through bad relationships and two very good ones that have produced loving marriages for us both.  We’ve watched our colleagues get younger while we’ve grown older.  We’ve also come to realize that the truth will set you free, so we speak it if asked, even when some don’t want to hear it.

My work spouse and his real spouse, a deeply accomplished and pretty swell lady in her own right, are now planning the next exciting act of their lives.  I wish them well and will observe them closely so I can learn something useful for when I’m ready to take the same step on this journey we call life.  But I have to confess that I will seriously miss my morning check-in chats, midday discussions, and occasional quick drinks in the evening with my work spouse. 

In denial about his leaving, another colleague – she is one of his work spouses, too – is already scheming to put technology to work so we can “brown bag lunch” with our buddy via Skype.  I’m willing to try it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that things will never, ever be the same around here without my pal roaming the hallways in search of a conversation.

Good luck to you, my dear work spouse.  Have fun, enjoy the sun, and work on those memoirs, the blog and that golf swing.  You’ve earned the right to kick it back a bit and enjoy living the life.  All of your work spouses and friends are happy for you and a tad envious, too – but, above all, we’re mostly sad to see you go.