Matchmaker, Matchmaker

For a big chunk of my adult life I was a single professional woman with enough ambition to find meaningful, challenging work that never seemed to allow for the time or energy to develop a social life. At some point (probably around the time I turned 40), I contemplated the likelihood of a lifetime lived alone.

Then one day my BFF met a nice 40-ish government lawyer at a cocktail party at the beach whom she chatted up and decided would be perfect for me (she was happily engaged at the time) so she passed along my telephone number, made me promise not to be mean to him if he called for date, and the rest, as they say, is history.

My 15^th wedding anniversary is coming up this spring, and when I think about the many ups and occasional downs of married life, I remain forever grateful for my friend’s willingness and desire to “matchmake” on my behalf.  She always said I’d allowed her to make a mitzvah (a lovely thought). 

So I wasn’t surprised when she told me this weekend she has a new career in mind for herself.  Matchmaking.

This dear friend, who served our government for three decades and ended up a CIO for a federal agency, retired about a year ago at the ripe young age of 57 because she was feeling a little bored, her mom’s health was in decline and she wanted to focus on family and, at some point, contemplate a new way to spend her free time doing something just for the fun of it.  Since her retirement, she’s developed an interest in doing voice-over work for radio (ok, it hasn’t taken off yet but she’s had a blast putting her demo CD together) and she took a holiday retail job which will end soon. But are her emotional and pragmatic antenna in sync enough to be a successful matchmaker?

I read with interest today a recent Harvard Business Review blog about the new cult of “reinvention” among boomers of a certain age, e.g. 50+, who have done the tough, careerist slog and now just want to have a little fun, do a little good and maybe make a little money along the way.  In the HBR piece, the author noted that reinvention doesn’t really work most of the time and can, in fact, be a “dangerous fantasy.” Rather, people in search of new challenges or “bucket list” occupations are most happy (and successful) when they “reintegrate” their expertise and experience – creatively tweaking what they know and what they’ve learned (including the mistakes!) in order to apply their insights and know-how to a whole new area of interest. 

I think that’s really true. 

It’s tough to become Katy Perry when you can’t carry a tune or play the guitar or piano.  But the HBR post made me realize that my friend the would-be Matchmaker really can do this thing she wants to do.   She has social skills and she’s not afraid to use them.  She works hard to maintain networks of friendships, which she likes to “mix up” from time to time – but she can also administer tough love and has no problem telling a friend that she really doesn’t want to spend the afternoon shopping with the friend’s pre-teen daughter (as much as she loves her) or, no, your new relationship just isn’t going to work out so move on.

I have promised to throw in some free PR advice if she needs it as she her plans in motion for those who want to change their luck in love.

Cue the music.